Best Questions to Ask a Guy When Starting A New Relationship

Best Questions to Ask a Guy When Starting A New Relationship

. 5 min read

In new relationships, there is always a lot of pressure on both people. Within the first month you will learn so much about your partner and if you don't play your cards right things might not work out.

You must not lay back and wait for things to happen to you, rather you need to prepare and work on your relationship.

This is the way that a healthy partnership can be formed. Psychology shows that there are so many minefields that we can step on when we start a new relationship. We must become aware of this and prepare ourselves in advance.

Nobody wants their relationship to fail, especially when it is something that gives you a lot of joy. A way for you to do that is to ask him questions and learn more about him. The more you grow with him, the healthier your relationship becomes.

That's why we have created this list of the 6 Best Questions To Ask A Guy When Starting A New Relationship:


What Kind Of Work Does He Do?

When it comes to working you might be thinking about money and careers and boring jobs. Work questions don't have to be boring and technical. You can ask him questions about things he is passionate about working on. Or things that motivate him to work harder.

Two middle age business workers smiling happy and confident. Working together with smile on face hand giving high five at the office
Photo by krakenimages / Unsplash

The idea behind this is to understand what drives him. Where do his passions lie and what does he get up for each morning? Knowing the answers to such questions will help you better motivate him and support his passions in the future. Try these out next time:

  • Have you been working on anything exciting lately?
  • What is one hobby that you won't ever stop indulging in?
  • When you decide to kick back, what's one activity that helps you to relax?
  • What does your dream job look like?

How Does He Value His Time?

The way that a person spends their time can tell you way more than you ever need to know. A person's time is usually divided between responsibilities and interests. If you pay attention to the way he fills his time, you will learn more about his priorities in no time. Because if he doesn't fit you into his schedule, you need to get him a new clock.

This kind of knowledge will help you to plan your future better with him. If he values his work time the most then that's something you have to be okay with. If he values his free time the most you have to figure out if that fits in with your plans. Some questions to gauge his interest are:

  • If your day was a pie chart what pieces would it be made up of?
  • If days were just 10 hours long, how would you spend them?
  • In your last 24 hours on Earth, what would you do?

What Was His Childhood Like?

We are all products of our childhood. We are pieces of dough that have been smashed and molded by our past into who we are today. If you want to know more about your partner, this is a great place to delve into.

Throughout my childhood, my family would take annual trips from our home in Indianapolis down to Gatlinburg, TN and the Smoky Mountains. After a long break, we’ve started this tradition anew. This photo was shot while my son (in white) and two of my nephews took off into a Cades Cove meadow at full sprint. It was a completely spontaneous moment that turned into an unforgettable image.
Photo by Jordan Whitt / Unsplash

You may just uncover some amazing tidbits about him. It will help you understand some of his quirks and maybe even get you tips on how to behave in front of his family. Just don't probe too much or you may end up like Alice in Wonderland. Here are some fascinating childhood questions to get you started:

  • Which family members are you like the most?
  • What's your weirdest childhood memory?
  • What's one memory from your childhood that stands out most?
  • What was your personality like as a kid?

Do You Even Get Along?

Compatibility in relationships is the one thing that can predict its success. If you aren't compatible or have similar interests then expect a lot more bumps along the way.

Research has shown that people who prioritize different things struggle to get along with each other in the long run. This can mean anything from choice of meals to sacrifices, jobs, family, having children, money, and everything in between.

If you expect this relationship to last for a while, you need to figure out what works between the two of you. Let's start with this:

  • If I got a job that required me to shift to another country, what would you do?
  • If you had to drop everything for a week to help out a family member what would you do?
  • What are your expectations from your family?

What Are Some Deal Breakers For You?

Everybody has some kind of deal-breaker that they just cannot stand. Yes, I mean EVERYBODY. If you can't think of a deal-breaker for yourself it's time for an annual mental health check-up.

Deal breakers are just those big or small things that we absolutely cannot stand. You can be the most chill person on the planet, but if one of your deal breakers appeared before you, you'd lose it.

Some not-so-serious deal-breakers can be chewing food too loudly or farting in morse code. Whereas some deal breakers may be more serious like politics or sexual orientation. It's up to you to understand what your guy stands for and what he cannot stand at all. If you both can't stand for the same things, then this match has my blessings. Here are some questions to get you both thinking:

  • What is your most annoying pet peeve?
  • If another person believes in this thing it would be an absolute deal-breaker for you. What is that thing for you?
  • What value of yours can you not compromise on?
  • What pet peeve of yours are you willing to overlook?

What Makes You Happy?

This is the last and final way to ensure that your new relationship gets off on the best foot. You need to boost his positive mood!

Photo by Vinicius Wiesehofer / Unsplash

Okay, you're probably thinking that that sounds easy. You'll just buy him something from Starbucks and he'll be happy as a plum. But here's another interesting and less capitalistic way to make him feel great. Research has shown that simply recalling positive memories can make you feel good. It can boost the happy chemicals in your brain.

Here is a list of questions that can help you to get him on the path of reminiscing. Let's start:

  • What's one thing that lifted your mood during the week?
  • What's one memory that can never fail to make you laugh?
  • What's one object that you hold dear to your heart?
  • Who is one person from your childhood who helped you grow into who you are today?

These questions are just the tip of the iceberg but they can help your new relationship flourish. Research shows that asking questions helps to make you seem more likable. So the more questions you ask the closer he will hold you to his heart.

It is time to ask the right questions the right way!



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