In these fast-paced times, it is no rare occasion that you meet a man who does not have the slightest interest in a long-term relationship. The very idea and thought of being in a ‘committed’ relationship repel most men.
Do not be surprised to watch them run off for a ‘vacation’ or ‘getaway’ when phrases like ‘I Love You’ and ‘You will never leave me right?’ are hovering within your so-called lovey-dovey atmosphere.
The majority of the females who find themselves in this situation of dilemma come seeking my help. This is what one of them had to say –
“The man I have fallen in love with conveys his messages via actions rather than words. He has constantly told me that there is not the smallest chance we can embark into a relationship because during our initial meetings I had mentioned that – all I am looking for is a fling with a substantial amount of sex. Now that times have changed and we have spent an emotionally valuable amount of time together – I want more and desire him being a shoulder to cry, rest and smile on. He, on the other hand, pushes me away when the topic comes up, but yet spends intense amounts of time with me anyway. Basically, now he is the one who wants to be a part of my life for just the physical pleasures involved and I am the one chasing him down for a fully committed relationship. Please, what do I do?”
Does this not sound like a darn frustrating situation to be in? To some extent, you too have found yourself in this same rocking boat of love and sex at some point in life.
I’m aware and understanding of the fact that in this domain of relationships - it feels like shit to be with a man who cannot seem to decide what he wants even if his life depends on it.
The reality of the situation is that – the lady who has been quoted above, has brought upon this demon and lowly human connection upon herself. When they first established a physical connection, the tone set by her was ideal for the mischief and vices the man came for in the first place.
It is no hidden secret that they do not suit each other’s palette for a relationship. The man clearly does not want the one thing that the lady wants, that too something that binds their base for the long run. Love. However, there is always a solution for problems in life – the one you are looking for here can be termed as self-respect, elegance, priorities and doing what you love.
If what you are looking for is commitment then the stupidest and most ridiculous thing that you could utter is “Let’s just stick to sex”. Eradicate this form of vocabulary if you are seeking love.
Yes, we all have been told that as a female it is silly to tell the person you are attracted to that you are in for a long-term standing. In either case, the opposite gender tends to take advantage and reap the benefits of a human’s vulnerability.
There is no reason that you have to be such easy prey. Portraying interest only for physical intimacy will backfire in the longer run. The chances of a successful relationship drastically reduce when this path is followed.
Unless someone has worked with their heart for something, it would not really matter whether they got it or not. Does it?
The best dosage to a unique move is the same move itself. As the lady above mentions that her crush’s actions were louder than his words.
All you got to do is the same.
By some means, you must pass on a message which indicates you not being sure of getting into a love-based relationship as yet. Though, give him a hint that you might be interested as time passes.
This brings about a situation when he has to understand what you like and don’t, how you prioritize him over other things in life, and your actions.
The Male gender focusses and reacts to actions, NOT towards words.
Keep reading to have an idea about a few ways to instill respect into a man’s brain without the need for uttering this desire. Eventually, you will understand the secret ingredient and can make it a part of your daily interaction with him.
- Establish a sense of presence, value and validation of yourself in your own life. Do not value men more than yourself and never give them validation for your actions. Do as you please and radiate elegance. This is what most men find attractive and helps woo their respect your way.
- Make time for yourself and genuinely get busy doing things. Those times of seeking attention have passed and you now have to live with a progressive mindset. Do something you would love to do, something that prioritizes above being with him. This is when you can turn him down for a legit reason while yet enjoying your time. Get out to the theatres, hit the gym, socialize at public places, play some sports, read books, spend family time – go see the real world and you will yourself understand how this fling-love bubble can be burst.
- If he randomly hits you up then do not settle on his timing and meeting place demands. Find a halfway conclusion that does not require you to bend down completely and show you are at his service. In the event he calls you late or night or during work to ’chill out', you must mention that you have an early morning or have loads of pending work. This makes him want you more and he begins to bow down and be more understanding.
- Do not agree with all his desires and plans. Set your own base and give him an idea of your choices, preferences, and desires. Remember, men react to actions and not words. Function with a little more independent attitude around his presence, this conveys a sense of maturity and also brings him down back to the basics of developing a successful relationship.
Nothing beats you when you are in this spot. Not only do you develop as a person and grow to be a sensible adult but you also help your man with his behavioral changes and view of a love life.
Everything said and done, the bottom line is - you have to pull the trigger which makes him passionately want you and change himself to have you as a part of his life
There is this clogged hook in his brains – once you unknot it, he will himself work towards maintaining the structure. In simpler words, once you make him realize your value, he will devote his efforts to keeping you as a close and emotionally significant part of his life.
I would call it ‘The Urge for Love” – once this is mastered then you can teach or apply it and make any guy wanting you, no matter what.