As almost any woman can tell you, trying to understand and feeding the male ego can be quite an adventure. One minute you are dealing with a proud, independent, strong male who demands respect … and the next minute you’ve got a big baby on your hands. And when they turn into babies, they can be the biggest, whiniest, temper tantrum-throwing toddler around … or worse, a teenaged girl! This makes feeding the male ego a complicated undertaking.
Not Feeding the Male Ego is Bad
Yes, interacting with the human male and his ego can be quite tricky and even risky. In fact, some writers have compared feeding the male ego to trying to feed a wild beast. If you don’t feed it often enough, it can become dangerously hungry. Can you imagine the sad state of a once-proud lion, king of the jungle, withering away because he did not get fed enough? Yeah, that’s kind of what it is like to watch a man’s ego sink.
Feeding the Male Ego too Much Could be Worse
On the other hand, feeding the male ego too much can make him emotionally fat and lazy. He could soon feel entitled to things that he should appreciate. A man can become addicted to the delicious taste of having his ego stroked, and there is not a much more selfish and blood-thirsty creature than the addict.
Proper Balance is Required When Feeding the Male Ego
It is easy to see why both over feeding the male ego and not feeding the male ego enough can be dangerous for him and you. Of course, this is not just true of men, it can be bad to underfeed or overfeed the ego of anyone. Males are especially susceptible to this however because they tend to use their ego as their coat of armor. Not feeding the male ego properly could lead to him being flaky.
A Wounded Male Ego Will Push You Away
Because men tend to use their male ego as a protective shield, a man with a wounded ego will almost always try to push you away. While women usually allow their hearts to control their emotions, the emotions of men tend to be controlled by their security system – the male ego. In circumstances where he has been attacked, feeding the male ego can be not only almost impossible but absolutely necessary.
Feeding the Male Ego is the Only Way to Connect
Once this type of wound has been inflicted, feeding the male ego can be the only way that you will ever get him to connect with you. As previously stated, this can be a tricky thing to attempt, but it is the only way to get through the huge walls that the ego has built around him to protect him. The male ego must realize that it is safe with you and that you would never attack it.
Connect by Feeding the Male Ego Hero Instinct
One of the best ways to stroke a man’s wounded ego and begin its healing process is to awaken his hero instinct. Why do you think that most fairytales have a knight in shining armor who swoops in to save the princess? Contrary to the beliefs of most feminists, these stories were not meant to make women look like helpless victims, but instead, they show the primal need in a man to be the hero. An excellent method for healing and feeding the male ego is by fulfilling this need for him.
How Not to Feed His Hero Instinct
What I am not suggesting here is that you go about feeding the male ego hero instinct by going out and getting yourself into danger so that he can come to your rescue. That is never a good plan and will most likely end up making him see you as insanely self-sabotaging and someone he needs to steer clear of. We do not live in a world of dragons and princesses and there is no reason to get yourself locked in a tower, hoping he will save you.
You also want to stay away from using any language that is only feeding the male ego poison. While you may think that you would never poison the king of your jungle, many women do just that without even realizing it. For example, pointing out that another male has talents and attributes that are “better” than those of your man is poisonous to his male ego.
Statements such as, “Susan’s husband takes out the trash before she even asks! Why can’t you be like him?” can strike a blow to the male ego that you may not even be aware of. It is also not a good idea to tell him that he is acting like a teenaged girl or a toddler – even if it IS true.
Properly Feeding the Male Ego Hero Instinct
Instead of trying to get your man to help you and be your hero by comparing him to other men or degrading him, it is imperative that you compliment him instead. In other words, you will do much better by feeding the male ego with compliments and appreciation than by poisoning him with snide remarks and comparisons. Show him your admiration and don’t be afraid to let him know that you “need” him.
Some women do this with simple things, such as asking him to open a jar when the lid is too tight. Yes, we could technically open it ourselves with various tools or methods, but why not take five seconds and ask for his help? Don’t forget to thank him with a smile of appreciation when he hands back the jar. Making him feel needed is an easy way of feeding the male ego. I know there is a huge difference between the evil dragons of fairytales and the pickle jar, but his ego doesn’t really know that!
Finding the Balance in Feeding the Male Ego
The best way of feeding the male ego just enough is by using positive reinforcement instead of negative feedback. If you constantly compliment and agree with him, you could be over feeding the male ego. If you consistently point out his flaws, you are poisoning it. But by remembering to emphasize his good points instead of criticizing his bad ones, you’ll be feeding the male ego just the right amount.