How to Flirt with a girl: An effective guide to dating and getting into a relationship

. 8 min read

You really want to date her, right? Yes, we know all about your girl trouble. The only problem that is standing in your way right now is your inability to flirt, and that’s why you’re here now.

The most frequently asked question that has too many confusing answers is ‘How do I flirt with a girl?’ It is something that has stumped people for a long time because it seems like such complex work.

Many brave warriors have tried flirting but have ended up falling into the not-flirty-enough zone or the creepy zone which can hamper any chances of a relationship developing. Therefore flirting is a delicate process that involves tact and knowledge about a woman’s psyche. A person who knows how to flirt with a girl will be able to move past the friend stage and into the relationship stage with ease. Don’t worry, women are not really that complicated!

So, if you’d like to learn how to navigate the flirting game and woo a person, here is a handy step-by-step guide on how to flirt with a girl and cultivate the romance.

If you follow these 13 guidelines then you will have a better chance of being the person that she eventually chooses to date.

1. Develop your confidence

The first step to being a better and cooler version of Barney Stinson is to work on yourself. You need to take time to reflect on your own strengths and weakness.

Knowing whether you are an introvert, extrovert, or an ambivert can be very beneficial. Maybe you find it easier to be yourself in group situations, so you can take her on a group date and wow her by being fun and goofy. Some people find it easier to work their magic better one-on-one.

By knowing yourself better, you will be able to approach a woman with more confidence. It will also stop you from overthinking your course of action because you will just give into your intuition. Play into your strengths and this will be much more attractive than someone who acts fake or who parrots another person’s lines.

2. Communicate your intentions early-on

A big mistake that many people make during the flirting stage is to play it cool and send subtle signs about their intentions. All women are not the same, and some may not even realize that your excessive arm-touching is a sign that you want to date them. So to avoid a year-long subtle courtship it is better to just let her know that you are interested in her.

You can start by asking her if she is single, and let her know that you are single as well. You can also say outright that you are flirting with her. This will show that you are a confident person and it surely will save you a lot of time. Even if she laughs it off, it will stick with her and make her slowly see you in a different light.

3. Playing it cool is finally over!

It’s time for you to go for what you want and be unafraid. No longer do you have to wait three days to reply to a woman. Let her know that you are interested in her by calling her, texting her, or meeting up with her despite what your group of friends has to say.

For a long time, people have fretted over how long to wait before replying to a text, how short the text should be, and other unnecessary details. If she replies to you within two hours, then you take four hours to reply, she takes eight hours, and it goes on till both forget what the conversation is actually about.

Don’t worry about replying at your own pace, treat her conversation just like any other that you have going on. It’ll let her know that you are not like the others who play mind games. It also shows that you are secure enough to not overthink something simple like texting.

So, it’s time to throw the outdated rule book out and blaze your own trail. Show her that you are in-fact relationship material.

4. Being too clingy can really be annoying

Like I mentioned before, you shouldn’t hesitate to call or text her at your own pace, just try to avoid being one of those people who replies too soon.

It weirds people out when they send a message and immediately get a reply back. Not only does this look desperate when it happens every time, but it also makes you seem like you have nothing else to do.

You might be extremely excited to see your new relationship develop and grow into something more but you need to give her some space. You also need to give yourself space as well.

You have a life, so if you put that aside just to text her all the time then it will affect your productivity, and ruin her image of you. By giving yourself enough space, you will seem much more interesting. It will show her that you understand how to maintain personal space, and it will gain you her respect.

5. Ask many interesting questions

The best way to let a woman know that you are flirting with her is to take an interest in the things that she likes. Questions like ‘What are you doing?’ or ‘What about you?’ are very boring and they eventually lead to a conversational dead-end. So where will you manage to get the interesting questions come from? Don’t worry we’ve got your back.

First, you need to do some research and find out about her hobbies and interests. If she likes books you could ask for a good book recommendation. This will help the conversation to spark. If she likes to trek then asking about a good trekking memory would make her happy. This will get her to share her experiences with you, and the positive memories will make her feel positively toward you.

Secondly, there are many apps and games online that you could use which would give you ideas for fun or random questions to ask her.

The more interest you take in her the better it will be for you. Not only will she feel like she is being heard, but she will also want to know more about you. This will make the conversation flow with ease, will make you seem quite intelligent, and exciting too.

6. A sense of humor can up your game

All women will tell you that one of the most important things they want in a partner is a sense of humor. The flirting stage of a relationship is a time where you get to know each other better, and you thoroughly enjoy the process.

Let her know that you don’t take yourself too seriously. Be punny, corny, and as witty as you can be. This does not mean that you have to crack one joke per minute, because that would border on weird.

Your attempts at being humorous will make her laugh and keep her on her toes. You can even create your own knock-knock joke competition between the two of you. The winner gets taken out on a date to their favorite place. You get a great date out of it and she is impressed by the witty banter.

So go ahead and make all the jokes you want, but let’s steer clear of the casual sexism, courtesy of Howard Wolowitz.

7. Bridge the distance between both of you

A special tactic used in flirting is physical closeness. While on a date or a casual meet up, each person will have their own zone of comfort.

That’s the amount of distance between yourself and the other person within which you feel comfortable. With acquaintances or friend, we generally stand a bit far. When we’re attracted to people, we want to stand as close as possible.

Your main task is to slowly close the gap between you and her. This can be accomplished by simple things like touching her hand or putting your hand on her back occasionally. This is a fun thing to do because it will make you both feel closer and it will allow for romance to bloom.

While doing this step remember to be aware of her body language, because if she feels uncomfortable then its game over.

8. Take her out on a date

You’re desperate for the flirting to work its magic, and a date is a perfect time for this to happen. Face-to-face interaction is the most effective way for things to move to the next level.

Don’t be afraid to ask her out for coffee, or to eat at a new restaurant. Letting her know outright that it is a date will show how confident you are. This ‘all-or-nothing’ approach is very courageous and sexy as well.

There are many cheap and interesting date options that you can avail of to make the date fun, interesting, and save your wallet from financial death.

9. If you go too fast you might crash and burn

There is a reason why there are speed limits in place for drivers. If there wasn’t, then going out for a walk would be like dodging speeding bullets. A relationship, at its start, also has such speed limits.
You might be sitting at the edge of your seat, biting your fingernails, and hoping that she falls for your flirting soon, but in real life, the process is much slower.

You need to build a good repertoire so that she sees you as an amazing prospect that she would like to invest time in. So don’t be afraid if you don’t see any results too soon, just take enjoyment in the process.

10. Keep the compliments organic

Everybody loves getting complimented! When you’re flirting with your prospective girlfriend, you will be tempted to compliment her hair, clothes, smile, and so much more. But what happens when you don’t like her hairstyle or what she is wearing?

In such cases, the mistake that some people make is that they engage in inauthentic complimenting. Women can sense early-on that you are being fake. Rather than throw around the word ‘beautiful’ or ‘gorgeous’ without meaning it, compliment only the things about her that you really like.

If she makes jokes that make you laugh often then tell her how much you admire her sense of humor.

Maybe her outfit is looking perfect, so don’t be afraid to compliment how cool her sense of style is.
When you really mean your compliments then it will make you seem more authentic and will make her respect you more. Organic compliments are way more valuable than those that have to be forced out.

11. Dial down the creep-factor

The ‘send noods’ meme is, unfortunately, a sad reality for most women. Being a woman means that many men are going to try to hit on you and make inappropriate comments.

Set yourself apart from the rest by showing her some respect. Try not to make creepy or offensive jokes that make her uncomfortable. It is your time to shine and show her that you can be more mature than your male counterparts. A person who can be funny and interesting without being offensive will be more compelling to her.

If you’re unsure whether a joke is creepy or not, you might be better off not saying it at all.

12. Time to be playful, perky, and perfect

The start of the relationship is the best time for you to be the perfect version of yourself. No, you do not have to be a computer program that spits out all the right words or does the right things. You just have to enjoy yourself and let her see who you really are. Allow yourself to enjoy each moment during this process because flirting is a great stage to be in!

13. Be true to yourself

The last and most important thing to keep in mind is to be true to who you are. With so many dating sites, and advice gurus it is hard to know what aspects of you to keep, and what to hide. That makes it hard for her to know who you really are. It also becomes very confusing for you as well.
Expose yourself, and I don’t mean that literally. Let her know the real you. Speak openly about your interests, your likes, dislikes, hobbies, and skills. She will feel your confidence through your words and it will attract her to you. You will feel so much happier being yourself than being some smooth, slick dude who has no real personality.

Now, that you know these important secrets, you are on your way to flirting like a professional. By following these tips you will develop more confidence in your abilities and be able to flirt with ease. Just keep in mind that with great power comes great responsibility. Now go forth, use these skills wisely, and get the girl of your dreams.

Are you confused thinking about "Does she like me?" Don't worry, check out our post on Signs A Girl Likes You.