You’ve probably seen the word ‘Sapiosexual’ or ‘Sapiophile’ floating around the interweb lately. Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty Of Fish and other dating sites are peppered with profiles carrying this word, and people claiming to be one.
So, what exactly does Sapiosexual, and Sapiophile mean?
A Sapiosexual is a person who is sexually attracted to people who are knowledgeable or well-informed. It is ‘the love of someone who knows.’ A Sapiophile is also someone who finds intelligence attractive. The only difference between the two is that being a Sapiosexual is a sex-based attraction, whereas being a Sapiophile is based on romantic-attraction. All-in-all, knowledge is at the forefront of this attraction. So, now that you know what these neologisms mean it’s time to turn the spotlight on yourself to find out if you are a Sapiophile. Luckily, we’ve made it pretty easy for you!
Here are a few, sure-fire signs that you might be a Sapiophile:
1. You seek-out Independent thinkers.
You find it wonderfully refreshing to see someone make their own decisions and go for what they want. You have no time for people who are clingy or those who need a magic 8-ball to make a simple decision. It’s especially annoying if you are deciding where to go out to eat and it takes an hour just to narrow down their options. You find it very easy to vibe with the people who embody Robert Frost’s poem, ‘The road not taken.’ Since you are a strong-minded individual you are constantly seeking people like you, who know what they want and get it done.
2. You believe in widening your horizons.
A great conversation is a gateway to so many new ideas, experiences, and so much interesting information. You find yourself constantly craving new experiences so that you can meet people with a different perspective. With knowledgeable people, you learn so much more and you never find yourself dozing-off or having to check your phone. That being said…
3. Ignorance is not cool!
You thrive on witty banter and a hearty conversation, but you absolutely detest people who make false claims. We all know that one person who is the first to jump up at any social gathering and state things that are just ridiculous. It’s almost as if they come to weddings, festivals, and birthday parties ready to create the most confusion and score the most arguments. Such people get all of their information from Instagram and never ever do their research. You find it easy to steer clear of such fools and instead you search for the person who makes an effort to hold their own in a conversation. The best conversational sparring-partner is the one who thoroughly researches their information and is able to back it all up. Not only is this a wonderful habit to adopt but it’s something that you do as well.
4. Listening is equally as important as conversing.
Your pet-peeve is being around someone who speaks for hours without allowing you to get a word in edgewise. It boggles your mind that someone would be satisfied with only speaking and that they don’t care about the other person’s experiences. It’s a wonderful feeling to be in the presence of someone who actually manages to strike a balance between listening and speaking. A good listener is able to understand your viewpoint and build-up-on that. This allows for the exchange of ideas in a positive environment and makes everything a lot more fun for everybody involved.
5. Debates, Discussions, and Deep conversations are your cup of tea.
You are drawn toward people who stimulate you intellectually, like a moth to a flame. You can hold your own ground in any conversation and you love exploring new and interesting topics. Most people shy away from religion, politics, philosophy, and world news, but you dive right-in, ready with your perspective and accurate facts to back you up. Therefore, you find it awesome when someone else has engaging opinions on these topics. Not only might it provide you with a new perspective, but it also makes situations much livelier and can be a good learning experience.
6. You are intelligent yourself.
Many Sapiophile are well-rounded, intellectual, and interesting people themselves. No wonder they are on the look-out for people who are intelligent. You crave like-minded people who spark your interest and your curiosity. You love being around people who know what you are talking about, who enjoy witticisms, and who teach you new things. You never find yourself bored around intelligent people, but you do find yourself using Google a lot, which is great but I bet your internet bill is high!
7. Your ideal date-spot is Crosswords rather than Café Coffee Day.
You love going to places like bookstores, museums, craft exhibitions, and other exciting places on first dates. They allow for interesting conversations to bloom and there’s always something fun to look at if there is an awkward silence. A bookstore is also a wonderful place to scope-out your date’s choice of genre, as well as to expand your ever-growing book collection. Therefore, since you always have your head in a new book…
8. You absolutely love bookworms!
It has always been the popular opinion that bookworms are just nerdy people who find it hard to socialize, but you love being around self-proclaimed bookworms. You find it easier to relate to people who are voracious readers and who discuss books, themes, and authors. You know what they say about people with a BIG book-collection right? That they’re interesting people with a lot to say! Bet you didn’t expect that. You love being around such people because you always get great book recommendations and you never run out of books to read! Isn’t that the dream?
9. You value all types of intelligence equally.
You believe that it is important for people to be emotionally intelligent as well theoretically knowledgeable. A person who is capable of understanding and empathizing with others is great because there are times when you just need to pour your heart out to people and have them understand your feelings! You realize that being book smart is great, and a person who can throw-down facts is a really special find, but they also need to be able to understand boundaries and have respect for others. Is it really too much to ask for a person to be a decent human being? I think not.
10. A rich vocabulary is better than a fat bank account.
You find it extremely attractive when people have an extensive vocabulary. What better than a person who can help you out with crossword puzzles (not that you need any help). A person who can excel at scrabble is instantly sexier than a person who just has a lot of money to throw around. Your holy grail would be finding a person with a fine bank statement and a great grasp of the language, because honestly why not both?
11. You dig people whose references are on-point.
You absolutely love it when conversations are intellectually stimulating and peppered with references to books, T.V shows, and movies. Therefore you search for people who are able to keep up with you and also make references themselves. You could be talking about Game of Thrones and they would bring up an obscure F.R.I.E.N.D.S reference that would even make the die-hard F.R.I.E.N.D.S fans proud. Making smooth references is an art and very few people have the ability to keep the conversation that witty. You’re most-likely awaiting the moment when you can slap someone’s hand at dinner when they reach for your food, and scream, ‘Joey doesn’t share food!’
12. You keep coming back for the comebacks!
You know it better than most, that a great conversation can often lead to heavy debates. In such situations, it helps to have a person by your side who knows how to keep the conversation light and humorous. You enjoy it when people are quick on their feet and deliver good comebacks to your witty jokes. A person who can give as-good-as they get is a rarity and you need to snatch them up as soon as possible!
13. You are drawn to people who have a good grasp of grammar.
Grammar, punctuation, syntax, and spellings are necessary elements of good communication. It is definitely a turn-on for you to see someone structure their messages well instead of just sending you a hodge-podge of words and a jumble of sentences. You’re just glad that the age of texting-language is over and that you don’t have to suffer through the half-typed out words or letters replaces by numbers. Your eyes are set on a rich conversationalist who can craft captions with finesse!
14. A poor sense of humor is a no-no.
You love people who don’t take themselves too seriously. A humorous person who can crack witty jokes, who makes puns, and who enjoys making cheeky innuendoes is the best person be around. You are always down for a good conversation but it’s seriously a huge let-down when a smart person takes themselves too seriously. It’s not at all fun when you put effort into a joke just to be met with a raised eyebrow, right?
15. You enjoy being around deep-thinkers.
You find it incredibly draining to be around people who only talk about the weather or who try to make small-talk. Such conversation is hardly stimulating and you find yourself searching for people who will challenge you to think. Deep-thinkers always have something innovative to discuss, and a chat with them is hardly ever dry. With an intelligent person by your side, you will never have to roll your eyes again at a party as you hear yet another person talk about Trump.
If you find yourself agreeing with most or all of these pointers then you are definitely a Sapiophile. Your ideal person is someone with a good command over language, who has a hearty sense of humor, who isn’t afraid to be punny, and who is great at banter. You hold people to these high standards because you wish to find someone who can vibe with you very well and whose conversations keep you on your toes. Keep looking! I’m sure your Mr. Darcy (or your choice of fictional character) is out there.
If you are still confused about whether you fit in the sapiophile or the demisexual spectrum, check out this post on 15 signs that you might be a demisexual.