In today’s world, the last thing that a woman wants it to look needy, and yet a man’s ego usually makes him want to feel needed. So how can you feed his ego without looking desperate? Is it possible to show him you need him without appearing needy?
Our culture often teaches us that we shouldn’t need a man, that we should be independent and be able to handle everything on our own. Often as young girls, we are taught that we are useless unless we are completely self-sufficient and have no need for a man. In fact, some are even taught that men are just to be used. Kinda sad considering that women are just beginning to come out of a time when they were looked at almost the same way.
The truth is quite different than what society is saying, however. Although many women are afraid to say it now, many of us actually desire a man that we can depend on. Not all of us wish to be alone and independent with no one to lean on. Many women actually do need a man.
And the truth is, men need to be needed. But how can you show him you need him without appearing needy to the rest of the world, or to him?
Do You Need Him and Should You Show Him You Need Him?
Before we get into how to show him you need him without appearing needy, let's examine if you do need him, and whether or not you should show him. Many women today do not feel that they need a man. And some of them may not. For these women, that is perfectly acceptable.
It should also be acceptable that some women do need a man. Despite the fact that today’s woman can climb the career ladder, pump gas in her car, change her oil, buy a house, and even raise kids without a man, many of those same women need a man to love and to be loved.
Because of society’s “rules” that make women feel as though they should not need a man, women will often try to hide their need for that love and attention, even from themselves. But your need for a man is not something that you should ever feel ashamed of or hide, even from him.
Men are Taught That We Don’t Need Them
If men listened to what society tells them about women and about themselves, they might often feel like the most useless beings on the planet. It is no wonder that so many men are pulling away from women altogether. Sadly, some take feminism to such extremes that we can’t see that we do need men, and that is perfectly natural.
Men need us too. Humans were created with a basic need to have someone to love and to be loved back. Yet men see commercials, and ads, and social media posts that all preach the independence of women and how much we do not need them. Is it any wonder that a man is afraid to approach you in the bar? Should we really feel surprised when he starts acting flaky?
Show Him You Need Him by Being General
If you are not comfortable showing him that you need him personally, the best way that you can let him know is to talk about what you appreciate about men in general. By showing him that you have an understanding of men and see that they are important and needed in the world, you let him know that you are on his side. He won’t see you as “the enemy,” or as someone who doesn’t feel that there is a need for him in the world.
You can also use this generality as a way to let him know what you admire about men and what you would want from a man in your life. You might say, “I love hanging out with my brother and his friends because their down-to-earth outlook helps me see things in perspective.”
You might also mention how you like having someone around who can help with “guy” things, such as fixing a leaky faucet or climbing a ladder to change a lightbulb. Could you do these things yourself? Sure, but mentioning them to him gives you a chance to make him feel needed.
Let Him Know You Need Him by Showing Him He Makes Your Life Better
Perhaps the most important way that you can make him feel needed without appearing needy is to show him how much better the world is with him in it. Society has taught us all that self-sufficient women who don’t need men are somehow superior to those of us who do. This might make you feel timid about letting him know that you do, in fact, need him.
Because he has already been “trained” to believe this, almost anything you do or say could reinforce his fears that you could go on tomorrow without him and nothing would change, that your world would be the same, that he does nothing to make your life better.
This does not give him any reason to want to stay with you or make him feel like he is wanted or needed at all. Ironically, though we are taught not to show men that we need them, men desperately need for us to do just that. You don’t have to appear needy to show him that he is needed.
You can show him that you enjoy him being around. You can show him that having him in your life makes it better and enhances it. Let him see that he makes life much more fun and exciting. While you could live without him, you simply choose not to.
This will let him know you need him without appearing needy. Men aren’t turned off by women who need them they are turned off by women who are desperate. Needing a man doesn’t make you desperate, it makes you a natural woman.