What To Do If He Is Wasting Your Time?

What To Do If He Is Wasting Your Time?

. 5 min read

I'm going to save you some time right now and tell you the most important truth you will ever hear.

Are you ready for it? I sure hope so.

If he is wasting your time, then he was never worth it in the first place.

Yes, I know that this truth pill is certainly harsh but it's something that you have to face. First of all, we get a limited amount of time on Earth. Who knows how much time we end up spending at work and on sleep (don't calculate that and waste your time please). On top of all that do you want to lose more time chasing after someone who can't be bothered to respect you?

The answer should be no. You deserve someone who values every moment with you. Someone who makes an effort and goes the extra mile to be with you.

A time waster cannot give you that. They're men who just can't seem to get things together at all. You're looking at a bleak future with them where you will be making most of the decisions and dragging him along for a reluctant ride.

Still don't believe me? Let's look at some of the reasons Why You Need To Ditch The Time Waster:

You Have One Life To Live, Spend It Well

When you're too busy waiting for someone to make a move or recognize your worth, you're not moving forward. It is okay to get hung up on someone, it happens. But when this process begins to drag on for a long time you should start living your own life. Choose someone who wants to build a life with you and make you happy.

You Are Forgetting Your Worth

I bet that you have so much to offer. I'm sure that you are looking for happiness and a future full of love. You must keep remembering that future. It doesn't have to be a distant dream. It can be your reality if you take a step toward valuing yourself.

Taking Back Your Power

Let's face it, a time-waster is a kind of like Ursula from The Little Mermaid. He's taking away your voice and your power while making you think that it's a great deal. But what you're left with is the comfort of a relationship and the stagnation of a week-old puddle. The illusion of a safe and stable relationship might make you want to cling to this man. But you have got to get your power back and assert yourself. Nobody should waste your time, you need to do it because YOLO!

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez / Unsplash

Okay now that you are (sort of) convinced let us see what you can do to get back your lost time. Here are 4 Things You Can Do To Get Back On Track:

Time To Power Up

When you lose power in a relationship it is usually because you have not set strong boundaries. This gives people the right to walk all over you or think that you are easy or gullible.

You want to set the record straight right now. It is the boundary-setting time! But honestly, how can you set a boundary if confrontation makes your hands quiver?

You can start by slowly introducing a boundary with the time waster. Let's say that you want them to make a decision that affects both of you. In most cases, they would probably push the decision onto you and try to avoid taking any responsibility. In such a moment you have to explain why the decision is so important and why you are giving it to them to do. Initially, you may find this very awkward to do but after a while, it will come naturally. Soon you'll be throwing about ultimatums like a pro.

There are so many ways for you to go about setting boundaries. It's best to start slow and reflect on how they make you feel. Here are some more tips for you to become great at boundary setting.

Back To The Future

I want you to close your eyes and picture your future. Do you want to be married? How many kids would you like to have? What kind of job are you doing? Where do you see yourself living? You probably have answers to a few of these questions because you have thought about this at least once. Now, if you are with a partner you would like him to be a part of that future picture. Sitting somewhere beside you and reading a nice book.

love at first sight
Photo by NeONBRAND / Unsplash

But you've probably noticed that when you ask the time waster about future-oriented things he seems to clam up. A man who wastes people’s time doesn't care about creating a future with you. He is living in the present and sponging off your time.

You don't want Spongebob, you want someone who isn't afraid to build something beautiful with you. So take a stand for yourself and start looking for someone who seems like he will fit into your future. Someone who pictures you as part of theirs.

The Action And The Reaction

Actions never lie but words certainly do. This is extremely true about the Grinch of Time. He has probably become superb at whispering sweet nothings in your ear. He might go on and on about having a family with you. He might spin tales about laying down his life for you. Maybe he even writes sonnets about your hair (that's a bit much you better look into the last one).

After all those magical words and poems, his actions speak another language. He doesn't seem to make any effort for you. When it comes to making decisions together he runs away faster than Sonic the Hedgehog. Long-term commitment seems to scare him and he always changes the subject or makes a joke about it.

All of these are bold red signs that he is just sticking around and wasting your time. But through rose-colored glasses, these red flags might just look rose-colored. So it's extremely important to get another opinion.

This is where your survey-taking skills can come in handy. You must speak to all of your friends and ask for their opinion about him. Trust me, they aren't looking to ruin your relationship, they want what's best for you.

If they feel like he is just yanking your chain, then you probably need to let yourself loose.

For Bitter or For Better?

When you are in a relationship it should give you a space to become better and to grow. A good relationship is like manure for a plant. It's nutritious, delicious (for the plant), and a great investment. Due to it, you can reap the fruit of your results.

That's what a great relationship can do for you. It can help you work on yourself and reflect inward. If you find yourself in a partnership with someone who only brings you down or makes you behave like the worst version of yourself then you need to be like Elsa and Let it go.

All of these tips are worthless if you do not take a stand for yourself. It’s time to stop letting others decide your life and steal your time. Take charge and face that time-waster in your life!

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