Loving someone and not having the feelings returned is one of the worst things in the world, the unbearable pain that is left behind is something that you never want to feel in your life. Unfortunately sometimes life doesn’t really work the way you want it to and we have to deal with the consequences of loving someone and not having it reciprocated. Here are 11 signs that your love for someone is unrequited.
11. Perfect Everything
You think that they are absolutely perfect, everything they do seems to be exactly what you want and how you want it. You completely idolize them and never think anything is wrong. This is because your feelings for the person masks the real flaws that they may be displaying, you are blind to their imperfections. No one in this world is perfect and anyone in a relationship will tell you that, everybody has their flaws.
Have you found yourself making numerous plans with the person only to have them bail on you at the last minute? Now, there are times when people have genuine reasons like work etc. that will hinder them from meeting you. But when they ditch you it seems to happen all the time and when you ask them their reason it might be something completely vague. When someone wants to be with you and enjoys your company, they would make sure to meet you every once in a while. If the person is just meeting you according to their schedule and ditching you the rest of the time then you know the love is unrequited.
Do you notice them constantly looking at other woman while in your presence? Not only that but always approaching them and talking to them? You may brush it off as a friendly conversation but notice if they shamelessly flirting with other people without any regard for you or your feelings. If a person does this often, it is a sure sign that they do not respect or care about you. The love you feel for them is unreturned and brushed aside to instead openly flirt with other people.
8. Uneven Giving
If you find yourself giving the person copious amounts of gifts and getting nothing in return, this is a major red flag. Now it is not always about materialistic things, instead you could be doing them favors but getting nothing back either. If the person just accepts the things you do or the things you give them without feeling the need to ever return the favor then that is just a major no-no. This shows that the person feels no love for you and has no obligation to even it out by helping you or giving you things in return.
How many times have you sent them messages or given them missed calls only to be met with silence? You find yourself always being the first one to text, and usually never getting a text in return, surely the person must be busy? If they were busy and really wanted to talk to you then you would at least get a text explaining this, instead, you are left with silence until the person feels the need to talk to you according to their timings. This is a major example of unrequited love, when the need to communicate is only one-sided.
Affection is a major part in any relationship where two people love each other, granted, there are people who aren’t that open in showing affection but it comes out in some way or the other. If you find yourself being the only one to show any amount of affection and never getting even the slightest hint of anything back then the love you feel for them is definitely not returned. They may even cringe away or try and block your affection from time to time, showing that they feel nothing for you or your relationship.
5. Eye Contact
Eye contact is a highly important factor when it comes to knowing whether someone is interested in you or your conversations. When people speak to each other and are focused on what the other person is saying, you can always tell. They will be maintaining eye contact during the majority of the conversation and responding back. On the other hand, you notice that the person is constantly avoiding eye contact with you, they never look you in the eyes when you speak or ask them any questions. This is a sign that they lack any feelings for you if they can’t even do the basic thing like maintain eye contact during a conversation.
4. Body Language
Speaking of eye contact, let's look at one of the most important things, body language. Despite the person not openly showing their emotions, you can always tell through their body language, as this is something most people can’t control. If their body is always turned away from you, this means they want to distance themselves from you entirely. While speaking to them you may notice them leaning away, or even their legs and feet pointed at in a different direction, this shows that the person has to interest what so ever in what you have to say and how you feel. Always notice peoples body language, it can be a major factor in confirming that your love for the person in unrequited.
Sometimes it seems that you are the one to always initiate everything. Do you find yourself being the only one to make plans to meet up? They are never the ones to organize any plan or take the initiative to meet you. Is it always you texting or calling first? You have, till date, never received a call or text from them first. Are you the only one always initiating contact, too? You always hug, kiss or cuddle them first. But on the other hand, you’ve noticed that they never seem to take the first step to get physical with you at all. This is completely one-sided, you giving all your love and attention to them but getting nothing in return.
Feeling constant anxiety isn’t a good thing, especially if the reason is that of someone else. If you find yourself feeling anxious because of simple things like what the other person is thinking of you and what you need to do to make them happy then its a sign of unrequited love. You shouldn’t be living your life to please someone else. The worst part is the person probably doesn’t realize or doesn’t care that you feel anxious around them.
1. Gut Feeling
This may seem unorthodox but always go with your gut feeling. Besides the facts that are laid out in front of you, your gut feeling triumphs all. Usually, when we are in a bad situation we tend to get a gut feeling telling us this, always trust your instincts. If you have a feeling that the love is one-sided and you aren’t getting the compassion you deserve then trust yourself and leave.
If any of these signs apply to you then you know you are in a relationship where the love is only one sided and that hurts. Don’t worry, there are many things you can do to handle a situation like this. Here are 12 ways to get over unrequited love.
12. Accept It
The first step to anything is acceptance. Start by accepting that the relationship you were in was just one-sided, you were not getting the love you deserve and that is not at all your fault. Accept the fact that the person never reciprocated the love and was never going to. Once you realise that you can get better and there are people out there in healthy balanced relationships, you will move on. It may be hard to at first but with a clear mind and strong will, you can do it.
11. Who Are You?
One of the first things you need to do after you move on from an unrequited love relationship is take some time off for yourself. Before you decide to try again with another relationship it would be best to know who you are first, only when you are certain with yourself then can you share your life with another person. Try sitting down and writing a list, things that you want to do and accomplish, your hopes, dreams and goals in life. Be sure with who you are and what you want to do, empower yourself.
10. You Are Not Alone
It is so important to realize that you are not the only one to go through something like this, even though it feels lonely and like you are the only one to suffer, know that there are others. Many people, like you, have gone through relationships where the love was only one sided. People make mistakes, realize it and then move on. You can always connect with people who have gone through the same situation and see how they dealt with it, talking to someone and relaying your story can also give you the closure that you need.
9. Don’t Look Back
Don’t try and fool yourself by thinking that you can go back to the person who never loved you. Stop hoping that something will change and you can be the one to change the person, if love was never returned in the duration of your relationship then it never will be. It is a harsh truth but it is once that you have to accept, people cannot change how they feel about you. False hope is dangerous and you could reach the point of desperation where you are constantly chasing the person against their will and that is a situation you do not want to find yourself in.
8. New Look
Its time to get a drastic new look, just be spontaneous! If you always wanted short hair then go ahead and get that bob cut you have been dreaming about. Fascinated with coloured hair? Get yours done, blue, red, green, go crazy! Though you might want to think things through beforehand, you don’t want to end up with random piercings or tattoos you regret, stick to things like new hair or even a wardrobe change. New clothes can do wonders for people, you feel like an entirely different and more confident person and that is exactly what you want to do!
7. Write It Out
If you think diaries and journals are for teenagers then think again, writing things down is a brilliant way to sort your thoughts and help organise your emotions. You can buy a notebook and start jotting down things, it doesn’t even have to be neat! If you aren’t a creative or an organised person you can always have a messy journal, that is completely fine. As long as you are writing down things or even drawing things you feel, you’re good to go. Use this as a go to book, whenever you are feeling angry or sad write it down and what is making you feel that way. Soon you will be able to pinpoint when those feelings surface and what to do about it.
The amount of possibilities for this point are endless! Pick absolutely anything you have always wanted to do and go for it. There are many classes or courses out there to help you, and many other people who are getting into hobbies just like you. Why not try horse riding if you like animals, or knitting if you are more of an at home kind of person. You can even learn a language online or take up cooking classes to ensure you eat the best meals you possibly can at home. It may seem daunting at first but once you get the hang of your hobby then you will be having so much fun that you will forget about relationships entirely!
5. Hit The Gym
You don’t have to be intimidated of the gym, it isn’t always full of overly buff people judging you. There are many people who go to the gym for numerous reasons, a lot of them being beginners just like you. Getting regular exercise in your routine is the best things you can ever do for yourself, it will not only benefit you in the long run but will change your entire life from the day you step into the gym. Working out doesn’t just help you physically but it also affects your mental health, boosting your mood and getting you ready for the day ahead. Also, highly recommending is boxing, have some leftover angry feelings from your previous relationship? Go ahead and punch it out!
Meditation is one of the most underrated things, people view this as boring and a waste of time but the benefits to it are the best. If you have never meditated before then its a good idea to start simple, seat yourself in a neutral position, you can even sit upright on a chair. Start by closing your eyes and breathing deeply, in an out. Do this for 5 minutes per day, increasing the time every week until you can meditate for 20 minutes at a stretch. You will find your mood uplifted and you can handle your emotions much better than you ever could before, highly beneficial!
Its time to let your inner adventurer out and start traveling! Okay, it isn’t that easy as it sounds because yes, traveling does require money but you can always go for budget trips! Get deals on flights and when you travel some place, opt for staying at hostels, this can cut costs down by a lot. Even if you don’t have the budget to travel to a different country, try going for short one day trips around where you live. Join a few camping groups, it's a great way to get out and make friends with people who love adventure!
What better way to help yourself than to help others? Volunteering is a great way to distract yourself while doing good for others, there are many ways you can volunteer too. If you love kids then try helping out in an orphanage, or if you prefer animals you can always work at a shelter. There are many organizations that can get you in touch with places to volunteer at, you can even help out at homeless shelters or help plant trees if you are environmentally friendly.
1. Date Time
The last and best step, it is finally time to move on! It may seem hard getting out there and dating again but give it a shot, only this time make sure the relationship is balanced and you are getting as much love as you are giving. If you find it hard to meet people you can always try dating websites or apps, there’s nothing wrong with meeting people online, just make sure you both communicate at what your intentions are before meeting up.