You’ve met this guy on a dating app. He seems alright. You’ve enjoyed chatting with him.
He wants to meet up for a coffee. So you say yes.
It’s during the day, so you don’t want to look like you’ve dressed up for him. But you still spend AGES getting ready.
Your hair has to be just right. Your makeup has to be just right. You want to look like you #wokeuplikethis—which is to say, NOTHING like how you usually wake up.
When you walk into the coffee shop, timing your entry down to the minute, your palms are damp from nerves. You can hear your own heart thudding.
You look around. He’s not here yet. Should you order something and find a table, or wait for him?
You decide to wait.
One minute goes by.
It’s been five minutes. Everyone is staring at you. Wondering why you’re standing there like an idiot.
Embarrassed, you go ahead and place your order.
OF COURSE, while your back is turned, he walks in. Great. So his first impression is of your backside.
You smile brightly and say hello. Should you hug? Should you shake hands? Uh oh. He’s standing well away from you. Is he totally turned off?
Then, with relief, you notice he’s studying the board to decide what to order. You relax ever so slightly.
Should you go sit down without him? Or keep standing there, just to be polite?
Too many decisions.
Too much stress.
Too many ways to mess up.
Already, you can’t wait for this date to be over.
That’s dating for you…
A MINEFIELD of potential missteps.
And you’re on the defensive.
He’s got an entire OCEAN of romantic opportunities available to him (especially if you met on Tinder)…
And just ONE mistake will blow it for you.
So let’s just STOP right there.
Instead of freaking out over the outcome of one date, let’s zoom out and look at the BIG picture.
I want to get your take on something.
First of all…
Why do men even date in the first place?
To get laid?
To have an entertaining way to spend a Saturday night?
To feel better about themselves?
What do YOU think?
Once you have your answer, consider this:
Why do men stop calling/end it?
Because you’re not hot enough?
You’re not what they expected?
The chemistry wasn’t there?
What are your thoughts?
Those two questions are at the heart of dating.
And your answers to those questions say a LOT…
Not about MEN, but about YOU.
Because what you think is going on inside a man’s mind will either help you SUCCEED in romance…
Or shoot you in the foot.
So let’s look at what MOST women think is going on inside a man’s mind.
He walks into the coffee shop. He sees you. What’s the first thought that goes through his head?
Something about your appearance, right? In blunt terms, are you hot or not?
If he doesn’t think you’re attractive, you’ve lost the battle. It doesn’t matter what you say from there on out. No chance.
If he DOES think you’re attractive, that’s the first hurdle over.
Next, he’s got to figure out whether or not he LIKES you.
Do you have something in common? Are you easy to talk to? How well do you match up against the typical girls he dates?
Seeing a pattern here?
We assume guys spend the entire time JUDGING us.
Judging us on our appearance, etiquette, personality and so forth.
It’s like the Miss America pageant. You’ve got to impress the judges, or you’re OUT.
Does that feel true to you?
Is that a fairly accurate description of what you think goes on during a date?
If so, then I’ve got good news….
That is NOT how men think.
Dates aren’t job interviews. You don’t get “hired” based on your performance.
Guys aren’t thinking about you like that. They’re not objectively assessing your merits.
Instead, they’re going with their GUT INSTINCT.
And their gut tells them that only ONE thing is important…
(Whether they realize it or not.)
If it’s not there, it doesn’t matter how much of a winner she is. They’re not interested. (And they probably can’t even explain why.)
So what is their gut telling them?
And how can you make sure it’s telling them the RIGHT thing?
It’s quite simple, really.
I explain the details in my book THE PLEASURE PRINCIPLE.
(There’s a clue in the title!)
Men are looking for PLEASURE.
A pleasurable experience. A great time. The fun of discovering YOU.
Here’s what that means to you:
No matter HOW you look…
No matter how INCOMPATIBLE you seem to be…
If he had a GREAT time with you, he’ll want to see you again.
(Even if he has no idea why!)
So how do you make sure you have a great time together?
You focus on your OWN pleasure.
The better time YOU have, the better time HE will have.
In fact, if you’re enjoying yourself when you’re out with a man, it doesn’t MATTER whether you’re doing the “right” thing or not.
(Obsessing over doing everything “right” just makes you stressed!)
All that matters is that you’re feeling good. YOU are having a great time. You wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
If you’ve NEVER had a first date without sweaty palms, a racing heart, or painful indecision…
Don’t give up now.
Pleasure takes practice.
And it’s the kind of practice you’ll get when you follow The PLEASURE PRINCIPLE.
I’ll take you step by step down the Pleasure Path. It leads to both immediate gratification and long-term success with men.
It’s a simple change that unlocks a kind of creative genius you simply can’t access any other way.
You’ll learn a new way to approach dating AND life.
A way that makes wishes come true more effortlessly…
CLICK HERE to get install this instant upgrade to your life experience. Discover the magic for yourself and you’ll never turn back.
By Amy Waterman