What Men Really Want in a Woman (It’s Not What You Think!)

What Men Really Want in a Woman (It’s Not What You Think!)

. 7 min read

Hey Ladies! I suppose you are all here for the same reason – you want to know what the guy you’re into is really looking for. Is he into you? Are you his “type?” Are those jokes that he tells, the way his eyes met yours … did you just imagine that, or does he truly see something in you that piques his interest? How can you know what men really want in a woman?

Maybe you meet sexy guys and they are nice, friendly, maybe even a bit flirty, but they soon end up putting you in the friend zone and dating other girls. What are you doing wrong?

Maybe you’re really into a guy, but just cannot tell if he is into you … or maybe you want to know how to make sure that he is.

What is the magic that makes men so attracted to some women while they totally ignore or friend-zone the others? And how can you avoid being the friend-zoned one?

The answer is simple; find out what men really want.

1. First, A Man Wants a Woman Whose Looks Attract His Attention

Many women shy away from step number one, and never even continue reading the rest of this article because they feel that they aren’t pretty enough, sexy enough, attractive enough to pull this step off. That simply is not true. They are millions of single men out there, and regardless of what the latest magazine has told you, they are not all looking for the same barbie doll type.

Still, this first one can be a bit hard for some women to read, because they think it means that they have to look a certain way. In reality, quite the opposite is true. A man is attracted to a woman who is looking her best, not necessarily to a woman who looks like all of the other women at the club.

Too many women strive to look just like the model on the front of the latest women’s magazine. Unfortunately, this does not give men much to choose from. All of his choices end up with the same hair, the same clothes, the same nails – the same sense of style. In order to attract his attention, you must first strive to look like the best you that you can.

Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting your hair and nails done at the salon before going out to meet your guy. In fact, I encourage it. Get a new hairstyle. Have your nails done and buy those new heels. Flaunt that new dress that you’ve saved up to buy but understand that when you walk into the club and his eyes turn on you, it is your confidence that he is seeing. Confidence is what men want in a woman. It is the very first thing that attracts him.

This is why confidence is so much more important than looking a certain way. And you will feel much more confident if you are rocking your own style instead of trying to look like the women on television’s beauty pageant. Those women probably eat nothing but lettuce and water, have personal trainers, a whole team of people doing their hair, nails, and makeup, and are most often airbrushed to look like that. By setting yourself up for an impossible goal, you kill your self-confidence. Don’t try to look like a sexy model. Try to look like a sexy you! In our article, ‘How to Make a Man Fall in Love with You Using All of His Senses’ we explained that it is always best to be yourself.

With that said, having a regular exercise routine and eating healthy are both ways to increase your confidence. Your fitness goal should never be to fit into a certain size, weigh a certain amount or look like a certain person. When asked what do men want from a woman, only a shallow guy would say, “A size 0.” What men really want is a woman who is healthy and happy about who she is and how she looks.

2. Men Want a Woman They Can Share Interests With

If you really want to know what do men want in a woman, just take a few minutes and truly listen to him. After all, men can’t help but bring any conversation around to what they are into. Watch his facial expressions and listen to his voice when he speaks. Once he begins to talk about a subject that he is passionate about, his eyes will light up, his voice will be a bit louder, his face will open more, and he may even start waving his hands a little to emphasize his points.

Once you see these signs during a conversation with a man, you know that he is very excited about what he is saying. Even an introverted man will become animated when he is talking about something that truly interests him.

While I don’t advise any woman to change who she is just to get her man, if you are sure he is the guy you want, you will need to learn all you can about this particular subject. Knowing what his interests are will tell you a lot about him and how he ticks but knowing a lot about his interests will allow you to share them with him.

3. A Man Wants a Woman With Similar Life Goals

Another thing you will discover when asking what do men want from a woman is that he seeks someone that he can share goals with as well. While it is important to share interests, a couple cannot stay together if they aren’t going the same way. Sharing his love of football or cooking won’t make a relationship with him last if you 2 have entirely different goals in life.

Before becoming too close to a man, find out – where does he plan to be in 5 years? 10? Are you headed the same way? It is important not to give u your goals for anyone, so this step is simply to make sure that you are compatible. If so, then focus on those goals with him, because sharing goals in another important answer to what men want from a woman.

4. A Man Wants a Woman Who Can Think For Herself

It is important to note here that while a man wants a woman with similar life goals, he will also want a woman who has her own plans for the future. While a man craves someone that he is compatible with and can relate to, he does not want a copycat of himself. A man will want a woman who can “do her own thing” while he does his.

Yes, I know, I said above that you needed to share his interests, but he will also want time to pursue interests without you. So, he has a game-day with the boys? Don’t insist on staying home with them and making snacks every time – go do your own thing. Hang out with the girls, go shopping along, engage in your own interests.

This is another area where self-confidence is important. If a woman is so needy that she clings to a man and only wants whatever he wants, he will quickly turn away. You need to be content with chasing your own dreams while he chases his, and then meeting back in the middle for an awesome time together.

5. Men Want a Safe Place to Land

Probably much more than he could ever admit to himself, men just want a safe place to land. Out in the world, they are still held to certain stereotypes and standards that can sometimes be exhausting. The Good Men Project calls this his “safe harbor.” It is probably one of the most important things on this list.

While the phrase “be his peace” has been played out, there is still truth to it. In fact, you should be each other’s peace. At the end of the day, when he is tired and stressed, when work has frustrated him, or his ex is aggravating him, or a million other stressors have him all tensed up, don’t make it worse by telling him, “You’re just going to have to tell your boss…” or “If you don’t set your ex straight, I will!”

Be his peace.

6. A Man Wants Great Sex from the Woman He Loves

Although it is not the only thing a guy wants, I cannot lie and say that it isn’t a big deal to him. It is. One of the best ways to keep a man interested in you is sex. And not just sex, but great sex. We explained in an earlier article that men commit when you touch the reptilian part of their brain.

Let me say here that I am not suggesting that you just go out and have sex with the guy you are interested in just to get his attention. In fact, just the opposite of that is true, and that is why I saved sex for last. If you simply have sex with a guy in hopes of “catching” him, you will likely end up disappointed. While you will likely get the one night of fun and passion, you likely won’t get the callback.

If you are looking for a way to pique a certain man’s interest and keep his interest, then you need to check off all of the other points first. If you get his attention by being your sexy self, find common interests and make sure that you have similar goals before getting to the sex part, then you are more likely to have a lasting relationship instead of being his one-night stand.

Although he would never tell you, and probably wouldn’t know how to tell you if he wanted to, those are some of the main things you will find when researching what does a man want from the woman he loves. Of course, the longer a relationship lasts, the easier it is to determine what to do to keep his interest, just as he should be working to keep yours. While getting his attention might be a one-person job, it takes 2 to keep it going!

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