You’re on your first date, a little nervous, trying to loosen up, so you have a martini –or two or three – before dinner. Then some wine with dinner. Suddenly you find yourself talking about your ex-boyfriend (he was such an asshole! Nothing like the guy you’re out with tonight!). And then that other ex-boyfriend (also an asshole), until you’ve given your date a drunken detailed primer to your former dating life. Don’t hold your breath waiting for a call about a second date.
We’ve all done our share of dating faux pas, and had to live to remember them. While they make for amusing fodder for Sunday brunch chatting with the girlfriends, it sucks to go on a date and completely ruin any future chances by falling into a typical dating trap. Drinking too much and talking about your ex are two surefire ways to ruin your chances of a second date.
Aside from giving detailed history lessons about your dating past, try to avoid being “emotionally slutty.” If it’s your first date, now is not the time to talk about all of the problems life has loaded upon you, like your parents’ divorce, your grandmother’s funeral, how you got fired from your job, the time when you were five and your puppy got hit by a car and died. It’s a first date – it should be fun, easy and exciting! Don’t bring it down by getting too serious. You’ll just freak the poor guy out – and bum yourself out.
While being an “emotional slut” is not advised, being just straight-up slutty is also a big No. I know, so cliché – but it’s true: Sleeping with a guy on the first date will make him (a) wonder, “how often does she do that!?” and (b) assume that you’re not a serious relationship kind of gal. Yes, there are times when a first-date sleepover can lead to future dates and a serious relationship but let’s be realistic – the relationship is most likely to progress to “booty call” status, if anything.
Aside from making yourself look like a fool, you can also freak out your date by placing too much attention on him with interview-style grilling. Asking questions is good, but firing one after the other at your date can be scary. You should be having a conversation, telling him about yourself too, not grilling him for his marriage-ability. (You can always get to that later).
Last but not least, the ultimate dating faux pas that is most likely to get you into trouble and spur you on to commit one of the other dating sins is drinking too much! Maybe you feel funnier or more outgoing for a while, but after a certain point, it’s just more likely to make you act like a moron. You’re more likely to spill into emotional histories and ex-boyfriend stories, and more likely to hop into bed with him without considering the consequences. So lay off the cosmopolitans (well, not completely), sit back, relax, and enjoy your date. And afterwards? Expect his call in two to three days.